Three 'toxic phrases' you must avoid in relationship, advises expert

In terms of ammunition, guns or pistols could never compare to words. What you say, how you say it and to whom, these factors can make or break relationships in a matter of seconds. After all, words are thoughts and thoughts define your perception of someone.

Particularly when it comes to a relationship, your words matter- whether they are positive or negative. Jeffrey Bernstein, a psychologist and author has revealed three "toxic phrases" that one must never say to their partner if they want to maintain a strong relationship.

“When we first meet, and during the embryonic stages of loving relationships, we tend to be on our best behaviour,” began the psychologist while writing for Psychology Today.

“Yet, way too often, over time, we let down our guard and allow ourselves to respond to our partners in ways that don’t feel good.”

He thus shared three phrases that if become habitual in a relationship, can leave it "doomed to fail"

The three "toxic phrases" to avoid


As per Bernstein, the three toxic phrases to avoid in a relationship are"

"You're overreacting"
"It's no big deal"
"You're too sensitive"

He also added another aspect one needs to keep in mind when it comes to relationships and that is not keeping a score. Mentally tallying things like “who apologized last, initiated intimacy, or picked up around the house,” can breed resentment and power struggles in a relationship, thus creating distance.

How do these phrases affect a relationship?


Responses like these can feel dismissive and make the other person feel less important, valid and judged. Even if you are trying to calm things down, these phrases can actually re-instigate an outburst due to them being abrasive and in-compassionate.

The psychologist cited an example of a relationship where such a phrase was used and how it made the partner feel. “A few years ago, Lisa came to see me because she was struggling in her marriage with Aaron,’ he explained. “She said, ‘In the earlier days, Aaron would tell me he was crazy about me, but in the last couple of years, all he does is tell me I’m crazy when I try to talk to him about important things in our relationship.'”

As warned by him, their relationship ended months later.

Thus, even in aggression try avoiding using these three toxic phrases with your partner as it could lead to them shutting down and refusing to communicate therefore leading to its end in the near future.